The Help

Rob and I recently watched the Help and thought it was a fantastic movie. I'm happy to see it is getting a lot of props so far this "awards season." I still haven't read the book, but it's sitting in my Kindle queue. It's funny, because when I first started writing, I wanted to write a novel told from the point of view of domestic helpers in China.

It was interesting to watch the movie from the eyes of someone who has a helper or two, especially here in China. It prompted me to share a couple of Ayi stories with you.

As most of you know, we have a full-time Ayi who acts as a nanny to the twins as well as a cleaning Ayi who comes to our house 2 times a week to top-down the house. As a middle class American living abroad it has certainly been a treat to be able to afford help around the house.

When we first moved to Shanghai, a Singapore-Chinese friend/colleague of Rob's invited us to his house for dinner (lovingly prepared by Ayi). He and his wife lived in a small flat - maybe 1200 sq. feet - in Shanghai with their 1 year old daughter. They had a full-time "baby-ayi" and a full-time cooking/cleaning ayi. At the time I thought this was absurd, as many of you reading this may agree, but now I'm just so used to having domestic help that it doesn't really phase me anymore.

Anyway, we engaged in this conversation with husband and wife about how the flat is small, how can you keep the cleaner employed full-time, etc. What does she do all day?

Husband: "If she has nothing to do I create work for her."

Rob: "Like what?"

Husband: "For example I will just take all of my clothes out of my closet, throw them on the floor, tell her they look like shit and to re-iron everything in the house."

Rob (and I): Speechless.

Another story comes after we moved to Beijing. As they do every day, the twins and Ayi were playing at the clubhouse while I worked out. When I finished my workout a local Chinese woman approached me and proceeded to tell me that my Ayi "tortures" the twins both physically and verbally. Then she told me I pay her too much money and I am artificially inflating the market price. I tried to explain to her that she cares for 2 babies, and she told me I should hire another ayi so they each had their own.

Obviously I was quite shocked by the accusation. This Ayi had only been working with us for a few months but I certainly hadn't witnessed any torture. She is firm with them, which is unusual for an Ayi, but these twins are no walk in the park and need someone they can't walk all over.

We had a chat when we got home. As it turned out, my Ayi had told this woman's Ayi how much money she makes per month, which was about 700 rmb ($100) more. So this woman's Ayi asked for a 200 rmb/month raise.

Mind you, this woman lives in a 2 million dollar house and has 2 BMWs but decided it was better to lie about someone and get her fired than give her own helper a $40/month raise.

The bit about the toilet really resounded with me because our old Ayi used to live with us. For a while, she shared a bedroom with the twins (she was in a bed and they were in cribs). It was a nice room with her own private bathroom and a double bed. I figured it was better than having her sleep on a cot in the basement. One day a little girl who is from a nameless developing country (who is also used to domestic help), maybe 10 years old, was playing at our house. She asked me where the Ayi sleeps, I told her she shares a room with the twins. Her response, "Eww, that's disgusting."

Disgusting? Really?

I could go on and on, but I won't. Obviously one of the major themes in The Help revolves around race relations in the US. I can't even begin to add anything productive to that conversation. Sadly, it was what it was. It is what it is now - which certainly isn't perfect - but slowly but surely I think it is getting better.

In China, though, it is more about social class. The rich people here like to pretend it's about the economy. They don't want the serving class to make too much money because that will cause hyper-inflation and blah, blah, blah. I call bullshit to that based simply on how I've seen Ayis and Drivers treated as well as conversations I've been a part of that made my skin crawl.

I always kind of thought race relations/class relations came down to time and education. I don't know what the government is trying to do, if anything, to help the situation. And I've been here for almost 5 years and haven't seen any positive change.

It should be interesting to watch the middle class develop in China. Of course, I don't know if "they" will let it because once the middle class reaches a tipping point a few problems could surface: the goods and services here will become too expensive and manufacturing (hence money) will start to leave the country and the masses will then get a voice and won't be able to be controlled.

If I was a betting woman, I'd say they will continue to supress the masses to avoid all hell breaking loose. Any body out there have any thoughts on the matter?

 

Comments

[Candy]

Ditto... Same in Indonesia, although it is not a communist country. The serving class is kept there for a reason and it won't be changing anytime soon. I too have been snubbed for paying too much for our housekeepers here. I grew up in Africa and things are definitely changing there because the inequality was given a name ,'apartheid', and the subsequent punishment in the form of sanctions kept South Africa separate from the world trade economy, resulting in a self-sustaining quality, free market economy internally that gave south Africans an equal chance to turn their lives around. Unfortunately the current corruption is undermining what had been built up. In Australia and America I missed being able to employ some help or even obtain a job as one myself.. Equality is still an ideology and nowhere is it a reality.

[Ginny]

Jen can you imagine if an Ayi had a popular blog? Or followers on Twitter like Ai Wei Wei? It would really shake things up. ;^) Meanwhile, enjoy the help. I sure miss our super-wonderful ayi.

[Jennifer]

Candy, good to get your perspective on this. We're headed to SA this summer. It should be interesting.

Ginny, that would be awesome. I'm still considering writing the China Help, but I'd have to really make an effort with lelarning Mandarin. Oy.

[Fawn]

I have a few thoughts to add...

First I used to go out all day while the ayi stayed home and cleaned. I remember so many times returning and thinking to myself...What did she do all day? The floors haven't even been swept yet!

Now that I'm home and I'm the ayi again, I keep wondering...How in the world did she get so much done in a day?!

I am appalled by the Singaporean/Chinese employers, but not surprised. The opportunities to work for a Western family in Jinqiao were so great, that many ayi's refused to work for a family from any other Asian country, but especially China. I interviewed a Korean tai-tai for my ayi when I left and I could see the fear in my ayi's eyes. The woman wanted her to work more hours for less pay. Hmmm.

One thing I haven't been able to bring myself to do since I returned is clean the bathrooms. I pay a lady $14/hr to clean them for me. This kills me considering I myself probably couldn't get a job making $14/hr.

Politics and economics are not my strong suit so I can't add from an opinion perspective, however, I did watch the State of the Union address last week and one thing President Obama mentioned was that the cost of labor in China has increased enough to not make it worth moving manufacturing over there. He gave the example that Masterlock was planning to move their manufacturing back to the US. We found this to be true our last year there as well. Having furniture made became much more expensive and we kept hearing how it was because the cost of labor had increased so much, as well as, the cost of materials. Made it almost not worth doing, whereas, those that had gone before us had gotten good deals.

And on a final note...I read The Help a few years ago. The movie was done really well, but the book is still worth reading. The author did such a good job capturing the characters voices. As a writer yourself, you'll really appreciate it.